Spiritual intimacy in a dating relationship how long to wait before dating again
Contrary to what some chauvinists may believe, a marriage is not considered godly if one spouse is more important than the other. Few things are more powerful than a man and woman holding hands, praying for their children, their jobs, their finances, and their lives together. Pray together, worship together, and seek God together. This means sacrificing the desire to only promote yourself or worry about yourself.
A godly marriage happens when two people who are created in God’s image join together to help each other fulfill God’s calls on their lives. In other words, you give of yourself on behalf of the other. Without God’s help, we will only care about ourselves. This means creating an atmosphere where you can share your deepest spiritual desires and dreams—and so can your spouse.
Discuss and decide what you believe about infant baptism and about church attendance and membership. Another serious warning sign is an inability to resolve conflict.
There is nothing more important to a dating relationship than communication, so take time to talk about everything. We could go so far as to say that the two essential qualities for a spouse are a shared Christian faith and an ability to resolve conflict in God’s way through God’s Word. “The difference between a good marriage and a bad marriage is not necessarily that in the former there is little to no conflict and in the latter there is much conflict.
When you value each other spiritually, you partner with God to help your spouse reach their spiritual potential. This means committing to pursuing God as individuals and together as a couple. Spiritual intimacy will not occur unless we both put our own needs behind meeting the needs of our spouse. Once you’ve shared your dreams, your spouse must honor them, respect them, and treat them carefully.
Research has shown that the deepest fights in a relationship occur on a “dream level”—what our hearts long for the most.
Lou Priolo’s books have often been helpful to me and this has proven the case once more with a little booklet he’s written on this very subject.
He offers a long list of danger signs, but I want to focus on just 6 of them, on the ones I’ve seen most often. The first warning sign is the existence of persistent doubts about the relationship.
We have all seen people move from unwise and unhealthy dating relationships into turbulent, difficult, or even doomed marriages. What are some danger signs of an unhealthy dating relationship?“If you can’t proceed in doing what you would like to do without having the faith (the scripturally based assurance) that you can do it to the glory of God, it’s best to wait until your conscience has been informed by the Word of God.” If you are having serious, nagging doubts about the wisdom of proceeding toward marriage, make time and effort to resolve those doubts biblically. Another warning sign of an unhealthy dating relationship is the existence of subjects that are off-limits.Are there certain subjects that your boyfriend or girlfriend refuses to discuss?Are there subjects you avoid bringing up out of fear of anger or hurt feelings?There are at least two warning signs wrapped up in such a situation: “These kinds of thought patterns may indicate an inability to biblically resolve conflicts on the part of your partner or an inordinate desire for approval on your part.” It could also be fear—fear of the other person’s emotional or even physical response.Few things in a marriage are as important as spiritual intimacy between a husband and wife.Spiritual intimacy is a sense of unity and mutual commitment to God’s purpose for our lives and marriage, along with a respect for the special dreams of each other’s hearts.Their wisdom is not inerrant, but it may still be valuable. Let the Scriptures be your guide in all matters of faith and practice.” Ask trusted counselors about your relationship and carefully consider their concerns. The Bible forbids Christians from marrying non-Christians, so the most important spiritual harmony comes by ensuring your future spouse is a true believer.I have spoken to many brokenhearted husbands and wives who have realized too late that they married an unbeliever. Another kind of spiritual disharmony is when major doctrinal differences divide spouses—issues like disagreements on the roles of husbands and wives or on the way God guides his people, whether through Scripture or through other kinds of revelation.I didn’t respect the things that she felt deep within her heart.It hurt our marriage and inhibited our spiritual intimacy.